confessions of a southside catatonic chataholic

I'm still doing the 'From the floor' posts, I'm just doing them so infrequently as to be virtually non-existent. I also don't do them in the order in which I receive them. It's sort of random-ish, depending on what's going on either personally and/or professionally. As we all know, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans (so said John Lennon). Just as a reminder, the 'From the floor' posts are where I answer questions some of you have sent me about why I do what I do with our work streams, or about social media in libraries in general. I figured that some of you might find this useful. And if you don't, no harm no foul. I'm not much of a one for disclaimers, however I want to reiterate that I'm not an expert. I'd probably get pissed at anyone who said they were. I am, as ever, a girl with a laptop, access to random thoughts and a fondness for cheap booze. Really cheap booze.

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Sibling watching me highlight passages in my 'journal.'
Sibling: Is that your new Twitter?
Me: *colouring in* Shut your face *silence* Yes.

You know that moment where you make a decision that you think is a good one, and then it turns out to be kinda crap but you're stubborn times infinity and therefore not prepared to admit you were wrong? That.

I miss the vibrancy of Twitter. I miss the funny people, the quickness of conversations and topics, the ability to bounce ideas back and forth and either share them or refine them or help others with theirs. I miss talking about libraries and ways to make them stronger and/or more relevant. I miss talking about zombies and James Bond and Supernatural. I miss movie/song recommendations and bookish chatter. I miss the ALL of it.

One thing I've noticed just over the last couple of days is that I'm having fewer random IRL (in real life) conversations. Before, I would have approached anyone and everyone and started all kinds of discussions about whatever. I've always kinda felt that I am online as I am IRL - loud, opinionated, quick talking, rarely rational, quick to cry over books/films/pictures of fluffy babies or animals, and with ideas kinda spewing out at nineteen to the dozen. It's almost like my stopping in one place (Twitter) means that it automatically follows that I'd stop IRL as well. Is that strange? Talk about drama llama *rolls eyes* I am queueing up work blog posts like a woman possessed, so yay, there's that. Journal pages below of my brain mostly without Twitter.

Fin.

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I bought an exercise book (it's bright green because that's how I roll) and am using it to jot down anything and everything that, ordinarily, I would push out into the twittersphere. So much noise in my head. Which I've uploaded here. Because I can? I'm not sure. This isn't even a half of what went through my head today - this is just what I remembered to note at the time. Maybe by the end of these three weeks I'll be a better writer. Or a little bit crazier. Or have learned to better reign my thoughts in and focus them. Mmm. Maybe.

I adore the visual cacophany that is Twitter. It moves at such a furiously fast pace and at any time you can jump on (and in) and see links (and people, comments, statements, and discussions) that are ordinary, amazing, sad, inspiring, ridiculous and whatever other label you can think to slap on it. Each crazily beautiful in its own way. Where others find noise and chaos, I see a playground of infinite ideas and possibilities to both feed OFF OF and INTO. Half the fun is putting it all in some kind of context I can understand and work with, and then sharing it or using it to shape a half-formed post or thought. (In my head it's all a giant puzzle just waiting to be solved). Sometimes, though, I find it hard to shut my brain down, and so I end up overdosing a little (ok, a lot), and end up feeling slightly burnt out. Like maybe now.

My problem is that I find Twitter far too engaging for my own good because it's full of brilliantly magical people who talk about wondrously fabulous THINGS and CONCEPTS and who attend stunningly awesome EVENTS and GIGS and I feel like I need to/want to/have to see it all. Which is so much bullshit because I don't. I have two speeds: hell for leather enthusiastic about everything OR I want to sleep. I don't seem to have an in between. I need to learn to switch off. Which is what I'm doing, hence this post. I'm going offline for at least the rest of this week. Realistically, it'll be closer to two or three weeks. My tone this week has been a little bit 'off' and I feel like I've lost my mojo. Granted, my 'style' (and I use that word loosely) on my personal stream is somewhat madcap and #randomasbro (yes, I put a hashtag in there) and I don't filter my thoughts (I figure if people don't like me or my style they can unfollow - I would never hold that against them) BUT I feel like it's been a little more bizarreballs than usual. Which means it's time to disappear for a bit until I get my groove back. (Sure, I'm Stella, I mean why not?).

I'll be updating our work streams as usual (albeit in a more focused way than I've been doing for the last fortnight), so I'll be around in a professional sense. I just won't be responding to everything on my personal streams as often/as quickly as I usually do. Some of you have my email, some my cell phone number - feel free to use them. If you don't have either of those and need them, leave a comment or message me on Twitter and I'll flick you my details. Otherwise, lovely people, I'll catch you on the flip side. Do EVERYTHING I wouldn't do and remember: pics or it didn't happen.

(Post title is a lyric from Lit's song "My own worst enemy")

Hi, remember me? I used to blog regularly, and then life happened. And for some reason, some of you still follow/read/ask questions. I apologise for being a slacker, and will try to make more of an effort to keep this up-to-date. I went away to Toronto for a couple of weeks and, when I came back, saw that I'd received a few emails from people asking if I'm likely to feature some more 'From the floor' posts, and the answer is, "Yes, absolutely, I just get distracted by shiny, pretty things and wander off track for ages." Some of you may remember, from my last post, that I was going to make an effort to answer your queries out loud (albeit anonymously). I've randomly pulled this one out of all of the ones you've sent, and I want to make something clear before I answer it. I'm not a guru. Not by any stretch of the imagination. If I heard anyone else refer to themselves that way I'd probably get up and leave and/or spit tacks. I rate 'social media guru' right up there with 'carpetbagger.' Harsh? Probably, and yet I'm unrepentant about voicing that. I'm just a girl with a laptop, and broadband, and a whole lot of opinion.

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I received quite a few emails after my last post, all with queries about how or why I do things how I do them on our work tweetstream. I've responded to them all individually (I'm three steps away from marrying the copy and paste function, seriously). I thought I'd post some of the questions here, and my answers. Maybe this will be useful to some of you. (And, as ever, maybe not). The first question for this (strange and unprecedented - for me, anyway) type of post is: Did you deliberately set out to gain a large (for NZ public libraries) number of Twitter followers? I want to make something clear right from the start: I'm not an 'expert.' I'd be wary of anybody who said they were. At heart, I'm just a nerdy girl with a laptop, access to the interwebs, and an inappropriate love of Jensen Ackles. (Sometimes, the three go hand in hand and then I win at life).

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Often, people ask me why I don't speak - either 'at all' or 'more' - at library conferences, weekend schools or get togethers. There isn't a single answer. So I'm going to do my best to answer why I don't/won't right here.

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